5 years ago, I was a stay at home mom searching for a job with 1 kid in elementary school and 2 kids at home.
4 years ago, I was in a job that I loved working for a local company owned by 2 brothers. I loved it, loved my coworkers and was generally happy. 4 years ago, my husband left me and our children. 4 years ago, I sat in a cold lawyers office signing separation papers I didn’t want.
3 years ago, I wondered if our house would ever sell so I could move to SC so the kids could see their dad, and so maybe, just maybe we could repair our marriage. 3 years ago, I came to the conclusion that our marriage was beyond repair and I moved on (as did he). 3 years ago, I forgave him for what he had done, not for him, no I didn’t forgive him for his sake. I forgave him so that I could move on happy and in peace.
2 years ago, I was waking up on a Monday morning, eager to go to work at my new job. I woke up with a wonderful sense of peace and calming. 2 years ago, I had just gone out on a date (the first of many) with Patrick. 2 years ago, I moved on.
1 year ago, I wondered if it was really all going to work out, if we were meant to be together, and stay together. I wondered if he was ever going to love me, really love me. 1 year ago, I was still fighting my anxiety and still struggling with acceptance.
Today, I am finally divorced. I have a job I love, with people that I absolutely adore. My kids are busy with friends, school and sports. I stay busy with them, with my friends and work. I have a man that I absolutely am head over heels in love with. Today, I still struggle with the same thoughts I had last year. Is this all really going to work out, if he will love me despite the anxiety and struggles I have.
Today – I have moved on, I deserve love and unconditional love. I deserve happy. I absolutely deserve to be cared about, to be treated amazingly. I have so much love to give, and I want to give all that love I can. I choose to be happy. I choose to try my best to not let fear overtake me.