the one about being irrational

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Everyone has a fear, whether it is real and true and it will stun you to the core.  Or fears that are completely irrational, but they are still a fear to you.  I have a few fears, and I thought I’d write them all out.  Full disclosure, I am aware that some of these don’t make a lick of sense.

1 – I have a completely irrational fear of bridges.  If I am driving, its completely okay.  I may grip the steering wheel a bit tighter and breathe a little funny – but I get over it (ha ha, get it?).   I drive over approximately 6 bridges everyday just going to work, and depending on the way home 4-6 more.   I have this fear that the bridge is going to collapse, or that something below will strike it.  The first is pretty irrational, because lets be real – bridges don’t just fall down (except that one up north a few years ago, that sh** was just crazy).   The 2nd part is pretty rational I think.   For example, the bridge on Leaphart Road over in West Columbia.   I drove over that bridge going to and from work everyday for 3 years.  It got hit not once, but twice in a 6 month span and they had to shut it down completely.  After the 1st incident, the bridge was ruled structurally insufficient.  After the 2nd incident, they shut it down completely because it was no longer usable by any car or truck traffic.   My family loves to pick on me about this one, and I’m okay with that.  I can take it.

2 – I have this fear that Jake’s ex-wife will show up to our wedding and cause a scene.  Jake likes to tell me she isn’t smart enough for that, but I mean – she’s a woman and sometimes we are as snarky as they come.   She has no reason to show up, she doesn’t know me and I wasn’t around when their marriage ended.  However, that doesn’t stop me from sometimes having this recurring nightmare that she will indeed show up and ruin the wedding ceremony.  Jake continues to listen to this fear and reassures me every time that there are enough people there that would stop this from happening, and stop her before she ever got to where we would see her.   I will let you know after July 29th how this fear turned out.

 Don’t get me wrong, I have fears that something will happen to my kids or Jake.  That someone will rob us, or that there will be an active shooter on campus again.   I was on campus when we had 1 active shooter situation (that turned out to be an isolated incident) and it was honestly terrifying.   Everyone has fears, big or small – don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t allowed to have those fears. 

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