A letter to my fiancee’s ex-wife.
Outside of knowing my name, you don’t know me. I’m good with that, you have no reason to know me. We run in different circles of friends, and work in vastly different industries. I know that you see glimpses of Jake & I on facebook, since we have mutual friends. I know you hear bits and pieces of our life trickled through to you from people who don’t have any involvement in our lives. I’m sorry that people feel the need to tell you about things that happen in our lives, because it’s honestly none of their business.
In the same way that you don’t know me, I don’t know you really either. I have been face to face with you once, and even then you wouldn’t turn to look at me as I spoke to you. I have seen glimpses of you in the last year, as your divorce to Jake became final. I hear bits and pieces of stories that Jake tells, and I understand that I am only hearing one side of the story – his side. And that’s okay too, I don’t need your side as it doesn’t affect my life in any way. I know this isn’t how you wanted things to turn out when you got married. No one gets married thinking “well, I’m going to get divorced in five years”. You may love him, you may hate him now – I don’t know and that’s not really my business to know I guess. I know at some point you did love him enough to marry him. Thank you for loving him for the years you did before all the bad happened.
Now to the real reason for writing this letter. When you text Jake, you don’t see the ripple of anxiety that goes through me. The way my fingers start to go numb as I feel a panic attack beginning to rise from inside me. When you call – the same thing happens. Its not because I don’t trust Jake, I do. Its because I don’t trust you. I tell Jake all the time that I feel like we will never be fully rid of you, and despite his assurances that we will – you seem to keep popping up. I’m not telling you this because I think you need to know something about us, I’m telling this because I am asking you to please respect yourself enough to walk away.
Last night you texted, and then called for what will be the final time. It’s over, there is nothing left for you here. For you, there is no reason to contact Jake – again there is nothing left for you here. We have moved on. We have a life to build, and children to raise. I will continue to pray for you, as I have for the last year. I pray that you find the peace you need to move on. I pray that you will find happiness in the same way that Jake has.
I hope that in your life there is beauty from ashes, in the same way that something beautiful happened for he and I.